deny it, for they are good
women, not like this good-for-nothing fellow. And to think that this
man, whom I despise, was more pleasant to me than the dear souls who
loved me! Shame came upon me at the thought. I too, then, was like the
others, fearing the Unseen--capable of understanding only that which was
palpable. When Jacques slunk away, which he did for a few steps, not
losing sight of me, I turned my face towards the river and the town. The
moonlight fell upon the water, white as silver where that line of
darkness lay, shining, as if it tried, and tried in vain, to penetrate
Semur; and between that and the blue sky overhead lay the city out of
which we had been driven forth--the city of the dead. 'O God,' I cried,
'whom I know not, am not I to Thee as my little Jean is to me, a child
and less than a child? Do not abandon me in this darkness. Would I
abandon him were he ever so disobedient? And God, if thou art God, Thou
art a better father than I.' When I had said this, my heart was a little
relieved. It seemed to me that I had spoken to some one who knew all of
us, whether we were dead or whether we were living. That is a wonderful
thing to think of, when it appears to one not as a thing to believe, but
as something that is real. It gave me courage. I got up and went to meet
the patrol which was coming in, and found that great good-for-nothing
Jacques running close after me, holding my cloak. 'Do not send me away,
M. le Maire,' he said, 'I dare not stay by myself with _them_ so near.'
Instead of his money, in which he had trusted, it was I who had become
his god now.
OUTSIDE THE WALLS.
There are few who have not heard something of the sufferings of a siege.
Whether within or without, it is the most terrible of all the
experiences of war. I am old enough to recollect the trenches before
Sebastopol, and all that my countrymen and the English endured there.
Sometimes I endeavoured to think of this to distract me from what we
ourselves endured. But how different was it! We h
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